2009年4月24日 星期五

被快速翻頁的日子 - The Days that Flew by

My previous blog started well during my composition, however got refreshed (therefore clearing out all my previously typed ponderings....) *big frowning face close to tearing*

Anyhow... I shall attempt to recapture my carefree mood in Eng now.

In fact, my primary purpose and restriction for myself when I wrote the previous blog was to restrict myself using ONE language throughout. Why so? Many may think I'm fluent in both languages (Eng, Chinese) yet, I always sensed a "language cliff" mine, suffered and felt bad about it.

What do I mean by "language cliff"? In Chinese I would express it as "語言斷層". As in I feel to a certain point, I feel an inability to express something in either language. On one level it seems normal, one language will always have an expression that seems intranslatable. However, it doesn't seem to be the case that I can successfully pass that. So in practice of my writing skills fluently in an informal blog, I decided to stick with Eng (since I find it more fluent so far to type, less "stuck-with-my-fingers" and less "stuck-with-how-to-express).

Now that being said, I shall try to retell my leisurely, carefree, enjoyable morning after Art History class (A&D227, Art History since 1400, which covers from Renaissance up to Modern) at Pappy's Sweet Shop located at the B1 of PMU (Purdue Memorial Union at Purdue University).

With an urge to have a round of yummy western breakfast (typically are eggs, ham, toast etc to me), I ended up at Pappy's instead of Stewart Center library HSSE (Humanities library), which is where I always go. The last time I was here, I was deeply attracted by the wooden space that's separate of the restaurant itself. There are several windows, surrounding the room's outer area in a L shape; allowing dazzling, warming, cozy brightness in. Warm tonality of the wood under the sun makes me miss home, or my imagination of an ideal home. I always daydream about things, even if I have reality to picture in my mind solidly.

In such romantic, elegantly-lazy, graceful and cheerful mood, I chose a table by the window, even if it's blocked by cement wall; took out my art history textbook, ready to make up the reading I would've and should've caught up with due to the bunch of drawing I had to do for the semester. In flipping pages, I saw an eye-catching image and read on: a Romantic (an artist belonging to the Romanticism period, ca. 18 century) [ca. = circa; around] artist named Henri Fuseli's painting "The Nightmare".

Attaching my eye to the page for several moments, I laughed heartily to myself thinking: Oh my gosh, :D isn't this Justen (my highly artistic and creative artist friend)'s original inspiration piece of her work? (Sadly her painting isn't posted on deviantart, otherwise if the image is available through a link I'll repaste it here for sharing :D)

However, after further chatting, she disclosed that she never knew there was such a painting!

The reason for her horse in the image was because she thinks horse represents fear best out of other animals... I pondered with concentration and concluded: (Justen) What a muse! :D

Here's the image of Henri Fuseli's "The Nightmare"

It has an eerie resemblance to her "original" work.
(from this point on I shall try to write in Chinese :D----開始囉!~希望我不會文字打結)
之後,我跟爸爸&老弟連上了skype,聊了聊一些事,但老爸他們那裡的skype連線不知道怎麼了,導致突然斷線。之後,我越整理思緒卻越想家,索性打開了iTunes聽聽盧廣仲的陽光歌曲,
放在隨機撥中文歌的類別上。第一首卻是五月天寫的"純真,而我之前下載了梁靜茹的版本。
才聽了不久,我的腦海漸漸浮出了一些夜晚的記憶.... 那是我還跟你住得比較近的時候。
我們常常會透過msn邀約,然後走到宿舍外面的走道上在中點遇上對方。那時見你的心情是有些期待,雖我們什麼都不是,只是興趣相投的朋友,常常聽你訴說心事,但我還記得那晚你第一次在鞦韆上隨口哼出的"純真"那首歌... 不知是否因為兩個室友常戲弄我和你的關係,或許就是在這樣的錯覺下,突然滋生了一種曖昧的依賴。 但我時時刻刻都明瞭,我們從沒有什麼。
很快的,與他相識後,他深占我心,成了我唯一的追尋。就連另一位學長的浪漫晚餐邀約,夜晚的散步與認識環境,和對我表示好感的那晚,我遲疑了一下,釐清感覺後就沒有再回頭。
你也只變成我在msn上常常關心的友人之一。 回頭,我只看見不悔追尋過的軌跡。因為他,我的幸福,相伴左右。
如今一年即將過去,天氣浮現日子即將到我們當初到Purdue的那時。在期末考的逼迫下,大家又將轉頭去埋頭苦讀。而我,喜歡在周末時讓思想自由飄隨,慢慢記錄回憶。日子就像我們複習時翻書那樣的快速逝去,轉眼間,大學將滿一年。

2009年3月23日 星期一

事情的本意 做到了嗎?

NY TRIP...

春假轉眼間就過了... 我卻沒有在紐約得到什麼特別的感想. 反之, 卻覺得很空洞.
其實要說有感想也是有. 只是, 我發覺我想著的計畫沒有去實踐時來的更讓我有成就感就有種很大的失落.
我去紐約的本意到底是什麼, 我自己清楚嗎?
一開始本來想說去紐約一趟純美術館之旅, 每天可以悠閒的花整天的時間只看幾個部分的展, 卻可以看得很久~ 很詳
細. 我本來就不想要走馬看花的那種旅程. 我希望跟我一起去的人 是能夠享受這樣的安排的人. 雖然跟親愛的你去沒什麼
好, 況且讓計劃變的方便許多...(美國有車好像什麼事都好辦~) 但我想, 某方面來說, 做了些犧牲. 你為我做了很多犧牲,
我也因為你的朋友&想幫忙的心理犧牲掉了我去古根漢Guggenheim的機會.

最終, 我卻發現是自己讓一切如此空洞. 我為什麼, 會看著這些畫感到茫然? 為什麼會看到畫家的名字, 卻只能自信的指
出一些些是我學過的? 課堂上有被講過的? 來這之前, 我做好我的功課了嗎? (旅行的功課, 學校趕上進度的功課)
我每天拿出一些時間嚴謹的計畫&思慮於可能的情況& 我需要做的事....盡可能的做萬全的準備, 可是最終, 計畫卻總是因
人性的墮落而作罷. P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N - - - - - -讓這一切工夫因為懶散,因為臨時的心情被擱在一旁.
我要如何才能好好的Stick to the plan, yet be flexible (not easily-letting-it-pass) at the same time?

找平衡點。。。。生活的平衡點.
academic . relationship . family . leisure .
courses 227.113.201.153.211.251;
with you, how to balance my time with you & tasks i should complete (staying in focus);
how to keep my contact with family in a condition where i won't have them worrying about me;
leisure, 適可而止(?);
-------------------------------------seems like it's all about looking for a balance. ------------------------

接下來一些小發洩... (不用知道是跟誰起爭執的)
please don't raise your voice, 'cause no one can yell over each other for a long time.
so why don't we just calm down and speak in contained manner?
please don't buge in my relaxing cooking time, 'cause all i want to do is to cook.
hunger leads to my attitude going off at you - and don't most of us do?
pressure pushes me to the edge of raising my voice, because you were being too nosy!
there's no need for you to put things that way, although you were just trying to help & teach me how to do things right.
i sigh, i see, i finally understood from him that you meant good. but same with me too.
dear brother of his, i respect you, and i intend to love you like i love him.
guses we were both on edge, and i'm sure there's something we can do to express ourselves better,
'cause then we'll just be mistakened... so long, between one & another.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
but art can calm me down now.

Anyone seen the movie, "Jumper" ? if you have to choose places for relaxation destinations,where would it be? This part of the Met will definately be one of my choice.

Typing my blog so far, I would like to brainstorm on this too!!

-my parents' bedroom back in taipei (during the afternoon, brown, warm, breezy, sunny, cozy)
-my room back in taipei (anytime)
-living room back in taipei (afternoon times/night times)
-corner of riverside park (河濱公園) (afternoon~sunset times)
-Met (the part in the video)
-TES YMS campus, on the hilly part of the field.

so far that's it. i guess it's kind of hard to think or imagine places you have faint memories of. :)
my visual memory can only go so far since IB theatre arts exercices.

---windglider;